As any readers of the previous posts about the crazy adventures my crewmates and I have upon the seas can attest to, it will be noted that we try very hard to go out of our way to be nice pirates (if there ever was such a concept) and to make sure that those we encounter have a positive experience with this game. We love this game and desire for it to continue for many years to come!
Never mistake kindness for weakness. Never judge a pirate by his or her age. Fear the angry weasel, for it bites.
My crewmates and I boarded our very plain looking galleon, the mighty Water Weasel, adjusted out sails, weighed anchor, discussed renaming the Water Weasel to the Ragged Hag, and set forth for the horizon. We have many a chest of gold to plunder in order to buy a new paint job after all.
Then, after setting sail, we voted for a “Merchant Guild” faction voyage to try our hand at those.
So we quickly did a U-Turn, parked back at the outpost, and grabbed the chicken coops the merchant forgot to mention that we would need when she gave us the quest. That or there was some fine print that me salty old pirate couldn’t read at the bottom of the contract mentioning the acquisition of said coops.
Adjusting sails and the bit all over again, we set out a second time! Where do we find chickens, let alone a red-speckled one and a white feathered one? For what purpose are these chickens being used? Does the local tavern not have a supply of chickens to feed the local pirate community with? These are the burning questions that Rare must answer!
We sailed to the first island we came across, a tiny little sand bar barely deserving its own name, made land by way of discovering the sandbar with the hull of our mighty ship, repaired the holes that mysteriously appeared thereafter, and began our search for chickens.
A pirate’s life for me…
A thirty second search that encompassed the entire island turned up a shark in waist deep water, several tiny pigs, a whole horde of devil-spawn-poison-spitting beasts, and not a single chicken feather.
Looking at our map, we decided that the best place to go get chickens would be none other than Chicken Isle! Of course there would be chickens there! How silly we were for thinking that they would be anywhere else! With haste we plotted a course and sailed for Chicken Isle.
Landing upon Chicken Isle we noticed two things that started forming suspicions in my mind. First, there were no chickens. Second there were a great many snakes. In an attempt to prove my suspicions correct, we then set sail for Snake Island. That’s when the puzzle pieces fit into place.
The chickens and snakes in the Sea of Thieves are having a turf war.
Snake Island had all the chickens we needed and some pigs to boot. So, it only seems to reason that somewhere in ancient history the chickens and snakes engaged in a serious turf war. A war that has spread across the seas. Both sides are apparently trying to recruit the pig faction to their side, but everyone knows that pigs will eat almost anything, so I’m convinced that the pigs are working as double agents for whomever has the most bananas.
Sailing back to Galleon’s Grave was a short and uneventful journey. The exchanging of chickens for clinky gold coins was a little more exciting.
After celebrating our chicken run, we drank until we puked, caught said puke in buckets, threw it at one another, puked and drank some more. Good times. Me mates headed back to the ship wile I stole every banana, cannonball and wooden plank that could be found in port. Walking, slightly weaving back to the Ragged Hag (so named by our patented method of making land by way of sandbars and beaches, and hence many, many patched holes) and carrying all my ill begotten loot, I was suddenly surprised when I heard the tell-tale sound of a blunderbuss and my health bar dropping to the “EAT A BANANA NOW!” point.
I was even more surprised when several cannonballs began hurtling at my face.
Uttering the war cry of our pirate crew (please YouTube “Scream of terrified teenage girl” for close approximation) I bravely jumped into the sea. I must have gotten turned around and tried to board the wrong ship. That would explain things. Then I heard my crewmates laughing and yelling at me to man the cannons.
Crawling back on board and manning a cannon, I then got the full story. Me mates had seen the sneaky pirate running up behind me, but instead of just blasting him to bits (friendly pirates, remember?) they waited until he did something stupid.
Which he did and my crew responded.
With overwhelming firepower.
A two-man sloop crew on land is no match for multiple cannons blasting at them. There was nowhere to hide. They soon met the ferryman of the damned.
A pirate’s life for me!
For other adventures, follow the links below:
DO Not Laugh (https://www.seaofthieves.com/forum/topic/40513/do-not-laugh)
Episode 2 (https://www.seaofthieves.com/forum/topic/41447/the-water-weasel-episode-2)
