As usual, I started my adventures on the High Seas with my first mate Blunderbritches while the rest of my crew finished adulting and got to the important parts of life, playing Sea of Thieves.
Tonight I decided to plunder empty skeleton forts and shipwrecks until everyone was ready. Blunderbritches and I managed to find quite a bit of booty hidden away in the wrecks and had just finished loading a half-dozen barrels of gunpowder into the Crow’s Nest when another sloop angled towards us at high speed. Thankfully Blunderbritches had raised the anchor and angled the sails into the wind should we need to quickly escape.
With cannons loaded, I stood on the top deck and waved at the oncoming sloop. My hopes are always that I can have a friendly conversation with fellow pirates and perhaps a parley should one be needed. As usual I was greeted with several cannonballs. So, we lowered the sails and set forth at top speed, hoping that the other sloop wouldn’t be up for a chase.
We were wrong.
This other sloop chased us half-way across the map, through a storm, around several islands and still would not go away. So, seeing as how I had no other choice, I commanded Blunderbritches to sail in a tight circle while I initiated Operation: Battle Tadpole.
I grabbed one of the nifty red easter eggs that we had stowed in the Crow’s Nest, timed my jump and intercept course, and leapt into the water. I gracefully swam to the other ship as it approached while a kind dolphin began to nibble at my backside and let me know that it had found my rear end to be rather tasty. I dropped the barrel right under the hull of the oncoming sloop and smiled as the explosion not only blasted the sloop to pieces, but made sure that the over zealous dolphin wouldn’t bother me either.
I climbed the rigging of the enemy ship to find both pirates patching holes, so I took my time and used my Ebony Flintlock to put two more holes… through the back of their skulls. Satisfied that the ship would sink long before either of them would respawn, I took a friendly Mer-Uber back to me boat. I found Blunderbritches drunk on the local liquor again and snoring loudly on the deck.
I sailed into port and had unloaded almost all of my goods before a galleon began making for my sloop at top speed. Still having one barrel left, I dropped sail and bravely tried to run away, erm… I mean, knowing that the galleon was no real threat to the mighty sloop, Battletoad’s Wrath, I sailed with confidence to my next destination. The galleon pursued. As they drew alongside me for the inevitable fullisade of cannonballs, I tried hailing them and letting them know that there was no treasure on board, just a bunch of grog. I think they were Esperantonians because they didn’t seem to understand English and instead attempted to blast me to pieces. I quickly initiated a quick handbrake turn and reversed direction. This put a lot of distance between me and the other ship, and I once again hoped this would discourage them.
Once again, I was wrong.
So once again I initiated Operation: Battle Tadpole and sank their galleon.
To the more savvy readers, you might notice a pattern of events occuring. Especially if you have read my previous posts.
Needless to say most of the early part of my night was a repeat of the earlier events. 7 sunk galleons and 3 sloops later, Skinny Pete let me know he was ready to join up and set sail.
We met up at a local tavern and drank several tankards of grog in memory of first mate Blunderbritches, who had been taken away by the deadly couch Kraken a few moments prior. His cries could still be heard in the distance and would haunt us for the rest of the night.
Setting sail again we decided to help out the Gold Hoarders and plunder empty forts along the way. We were about half way done with our voyage, stored several chests, a skull, about two-dozen barrels of gunpowder, and had successfully avoided the massive maritime battle at the active skeleton fort when our night took a fortuitous turn.
We had just reached the beach of our next destination when I noticed something shiny in the water. Actually, looking closer, there were a lot of shiny objects in the water. We dropped anchor, swam to where there were several goblets and coffers floating in the water and figured we had quite the stroke of luck. We loaded the shiny objects onto the boat and then we noticed more shinies… beneath the waves…
Diving under the waves we could not believe our eyes. More than forty skulls, most of which were villainous and hateful, as well as close to 18 chests were slowly making their way to the ocean floor. While it probably wasn’t Athena’s Horde, it was the most loot Skinny Pete and I had seen in one place at one time. We quickly deduced that whatever galleon, or galleons, had sunk in this spot, they would probably be returning post-haste to retrieve their goods. So, Skinny Pete and I did what any friendly, good-natured pirate would do. We retrieved their loot for them. Then we sailed for the nearest outpost and gave it to the local traders so that those poor pirates that lost their goods could come and collect it later… Maybe they’d even be kind enough to reward us with a finder’s fee?
We returned to the island to finish our voyage when a friendly galleon made its way towards us at full speed. Shouting and emoting “Ahoy!” and “We’re friendly” did not receive any sort of response, so I prepared the ‘Care Bear Stare’ in hopes that the sparkly rainbows and happy thoughts I was trying so hard to project would reach the other ship and prevent the always predictable hail of cannonballs.
As predicted, we were greeted with cannon fire.
So I turned off the Care Bear Stare and we set sail.
At top speed.
In a circle.
While Operation: Battle Tadpole was initiated.
This time as I dove under the galleon, I was greeted by an enemy pirate, who had just enough time to put a fresh brown stain in his undies and let his eyes triple in size as the barrel exploded next to his head. I then boarded the enemy ship, ran below decks and put more holes through the enemy crews skulls.
I’m beginning to wonder if this is how all the “Cursed Skull” quests that the Order of Souls gives out are created…
We finished digging up the treasure for our voyage, plundered several more forts, turned in our loot and had sold most of the gunpowder before we spotted two galleons sailing towards us.
Savvy reader or not, I think there’s been enough foreshadowing that one can guess how the rest of our evening played out. We sank many a galleon and several sloops before a cleaver pirate landed on our deck and blew the gunpowder on our ship before we could stop him.
We decided that was a good stopping point for the evening, shared a drink and decided to sail again sometime soon.
A pirate’s life for me!
For other adventures, follow the links below:
DO Not Laugh (https://www.seaofthieves.com/forum/topic/40513/do-not-laugh)
Episode 2 (https://www.seaofthieves.com/forum/topic/41447/the-water-weasel-episode-2)
Chickens, Blunderbusses and Overwhelming Firepower https://www.seaofthieves.com/forum/topic/46492/chickens-blunderbusses-and-overwhelming-firepower
They call me Chicken Chaser (https://www.seaofthieves.com/forum/topic/48447/rare-i-deserve-an-achievement/4)
The Dread Pirate Blunderbritches (https://www.seaofthieves.com/forum/topic/52546/please-advise#)
I met a Legendary Pirate! (https://www.seaofthieves.com/forum/topic/55414/i-met-a-legendary-pirate/7)
We Altered The Game’s Physics (https://www.seaofthieves.com/forum/topic/55895/we-altered-the-game-s-physics)
