The Infernal Alchemists
NO COST TOO GREAT, NO RISK TOO FAR, NO REFUNDS TO BE OFFERED
Skilled alchemists of dubious morality, The Infernal Alchemists have breached into the Sea of Thieves, eager to acquire ingredients for use in their blighted crucibles. For those who aid the cause of these unhinged, chemical-stained crafters, they may be willing to reveal some of their secrets.
Clad in singed and chemical stained clothing reminiscent of hooded plague doctors, and heavily bandaged in places their cloth does not cover, and can often be located in secluded areas at Outposts, with their alchemical engines ready and waiting.
Productions:
The crucibles of the Infernal Alchemists are frightening engines of black metal held together with rope and planks of wood, and would not pass any sort of safety inspection. Yet, they have their uses. Alchemy demands precision, patience, and a minimum safe distance in the event of an accident.
The crucibles can be used to create potent elixirs that provide boons, treasures that will reward great amounts of gold and reputation, or even create your own cursed cannonballs.
A correct, exacting ingredient mixture will create a genuine elixir. A slightly off ingredient count will create an imperfect elixir. A drastically wrong ingredient count will create a “genuine” elixir that can be sold to the Merchant Alliance and is useful for little else.
Fortunately, the Infernal Alchemists kept recipe sheets of each elixir. Unfortunately, these reckless experimenters have lost their books all over the Sea of Thieves. Fortunately, all Infernal Alchemists have a stock of their simple elixirs for sale… at extortionate prices.
Genuine Antivenom Elixir
An imbibed elixir that transforms snake venom and other toxins into harmless byproducts.
Imperfect Antivenom Elixir
Grants immunity to poison. Also makes you violently sick.
“Genuine” Antivenom Elixir
Useless slurry. But to the untrained eye, it may be worth something.
Genuine Merman’s Breath Elixir
“Allows you to hold your breath underwater for three times as long as usual.”
Imperfect Merman’s Breath Elixir
“Grants increased breath duration underwater. Also attracts sharks.”
“Genuine” Merman’s Breath Elixir
Useless slurry. But to the untrained eye, it may be worth something.
Genuine Balmskin Elixir
“Prevents the imbiber from being caught on fire.”
Imperfect Balmskin Elixir
“Ensures that you can’t catch on fire. Now, lightning strikes on the other hand…”
“Genuine” Balmskin Elixir
Useless slurry. But to the untrained eye, it may be worth something.
Genuine Peptic Elixir
“Drink before eating. Doubles the recovery effects of food items.”
Imperfect Peptic Elixir
“Doubles healing from all food. Also makes you really, really drunk.”
“Genuine” Peptic Elixir
Useless slurry. But to the untrained eye, it may be worth something.
Genuine Bloodthirst Elixir
“A good combat tonic. Dealing damage with a sword heals you.”
Imperfect Bloodthirst Elixir
“Dealing damage with a sword heals the wielder. Food no longer gives healing.”
“Genuine” Bloodthirst Elixir
Useless slurry. But to the untrained eye, it may be worth something.
Potion of the Phantom Pretender
“Take on the visage of one cursed by Athena’s Blessing. For a time.”
Imperfect Potion of the Phantom
“Take on the visage of a Phantom. Also, like the Pirate Lord, you get a big head. Literally.”
Potion of the Sham Skeleton:
“Take on the visage of one cursed by Flameheart’s ritual. For a time.”
Imperfect Potion of the Sham Skeleton:
“Take on the visage of a Skeleton. You also seem to be constantly on fire, even if it doesn’t burn.”
The Philosopher’s Stone
“Prima Materia. The ultimate act of transmutation. The Infernal Alchemists will pay richly for this.”
The Philosopher’s Scone
“The ultimate act of bakery in a strange crucible, jam and cream not included. Fully heals and fills the regen gauge for whoever eats it. The Infernal Alchemists will still treasure it, however.”
Event: Toxic Spillage
One of the Infernal Alchemist’s transport ships has capsized and their vats of chemicals have spilled into the surrounding waters, tainting a poisonous green. Visible on the map as green waters and in the sky as ominous toxic storm clouds, the event gives the chance to brave the polluted waters to retrieve supplies that are still adrift in the waters and the ship. Unless you are immunised by an Antivenom Elixir, you will take constant damage from being exposed to the toxified waters.
For those brave and crazy enough to linger, strange, mutated fish may also be dragged up.
Ingredients/Treasures:
While the Infernal Alchemists will still accept turn-ins of their treasure, the true value lies in using their crucibles to turn the ingredients into profitable elixirs that hold far greater reputation and gold rewards for them.
-
Crate of Toxic Tincture
“We should really put these in sturdier vials. Ah well…”
-
Rusting Refuse
“Nothing is truly useless to us…”
-
Crate of Belligerent Bonemeal
“We use the bones of Reapers. They retain the right amount of bitterness and salty sweat.”
-
Bottle of Potent Poison
“I would not advise drinking this.”
-
Bottle of Wondrous Wine
“The Maritime Union lost whole weeks to these babies.”
-
Crate of Atrocious Acids
“It’ll eat through almost anything. Almost.”
-
Jar of a Goodly Ghost
“Those Athena’s Fortune lot are useful. We can juice that concentrated self-righteousness out of them.”
- Primed Poultry
“This sickly green chicken may be… unstable. Potentially very explosive. Why would we do this? Why not?! Cage it up and bring it back to us- just be careful not to… jostle it.”
Titles:
Rank 5: Novice Mixer
Rank 10: Apprentice Mixer
Rank 15: Adept Mixer
Rank 20: Master Mixer
Rank 25: Novice Swindler
Rank 30: Apprentice Swindler
Rank 35: Adept Swindler
Rank 40: Master Swindler
Rank 45: Spark of the Crucible
Rank 50: Igniter of the Crucible
Rank 55: Inferno of the Crucible
Rank 60: Master of the Crucible
Rank 65: Novice Alchemist
Rank 70: Apprentice Alchemist
Rank 75: Adept Alchemist
Rank 80: Master Alchemist
Rank 85: Keeper of the Exploding Chickens
Rank 90: Master of Transmutation
Rank 95: Legendary Alchemist
Rank 100: Paracelcius’ Heir
Cosmetics:
As a theme, the Infernal Alchemists incorporate a lot of charred, blackened metal into their aesthetics, everything appears half-melted, stained with glowing chemicals, and contains a slightly avian theme.
Their emissary flag pairs well with the Sawbones set, and their rings of distinction are an increasing number of rings made of rolled up formula pages, and circular vials filled with shimmering chemicals.
For reaching Rank 100 in the Infernal Alchemists and completing the commendation Tis True Without Lying, players can purchase the Infernal Alchemist’s Curse;
Tarred & Feathered.
“Strange, dark feathers have sprouted from the black masses. The cost of knowledge takes its toll.”
The curse manifests as the dark splotches of tar or ink on your pirate’s body, with pinions of black feathers growing from them, giving the impression that you were slowly transforming into some form of bird.
Commendations:
Emptor Caveat:
Sell 100 “Genuine” elixirs to the Merchant Alliance, you scoundrel, you.
Rewards: Title: Snakeoil Salesman.
Good With Tartar Sauce:
Investigate the Siren Dissection Sketch at the Reaper’s Hideout Alchemist station.
We Can Rebuild. Again.:
Investigate the leaking volatile chemical stash underneath Port Merrick.
What Could Possibly Go Wrong?:
Use an Infernal Alchemist crucible for the first time.
At Least One Of Us Knows What They’re Doing:
Find every lost recipe book scattered all over the Sea of Thieves
Rewards: Title: The Well-Read
Tis True Without Lying:
Successfully create every single type of item in the crucible at least once.
Some Side-Effects May Occur:
Drink an Imperfect Elixir
Not Quite Immortal:
Eat the Philosopher’s Scone.
Well & Truly Clucked:
Damage another player’s ship with a Primed Poultry
