I woke up drunk again today. Had a homebrewed grog apparently made from mud, sand and shark vomit for breakfast. Threw up. Learned to avoid (ahem) 'grog', from the wilds.
Ate all my bananas last night during a shark attack, it was dark, and I was drunker than this morning, but I swear the thing was bigger than an entire galleon. I had to find more to eat before finally stumbling to the ship, and then realizing I was also out of boards to top it all off, I missed the darn ladder jumping back and fell in the ocean, drunk.
Being a pirate is hard.
I gathered boards, and found extra cannon balls while I was at it, not doing that again. I picked up a few cages from the Merchants and manage to load them without falling in the water. I saw something on the horizon and climbed to the nest, it was a galleon with full red decoration.
I spent too much time hunting supplies drunk. I always spend too long drunk.
I turn and miss the ladder. Fell to the deck. As I limped to the anchor, I wished I had a shipmate this day, but alas I was alone and could not call for sails. Each time the anchor turned, I would see the bright red sail coming closer, and right at me.
Fortunately, I knew an old sailor's trick.
I read a bit of science in a book I found washed ashore once, that the winds favor those whom forget to trim sails. She won't go full speed, but she'll go faster into the wind. I dropped the sail, and turn into the wind. A few minutes later, the dot on the horizon turned away abandoning the chase.
I stared into the spyglass too long, and missed the unmapped rocks poking up over the ocean surface. The ship suddenly lurched sideways under me, and I leaped towards the wheel to spin it away. I hopped over the wheel's railing to begin repairs below, but apparently the nose was stuck and the entire ship shifted sideways suddenly, landing me just over the side edge. At least I'm not drunk this time getting wet, however my ship is probably sinking fast and "I" am not even on it!
Have I mentioned being a pirate is hard? Mom said be an engineer, but I wanted loot and treasure.
I spent two or three seconds panicking and blubbering as the ship broke free and sailed off, before turning and swimming full speed away from it underwater. "Put distance between me and the ship, as fast as I can." I thought. Sure enough, my mermaid friend Ugly Hairy (remember that's not a jab or a pun, that's just what he said his name was) popped up and swam me back to the sinking ship.
Some frantic bailing and patching later, the ship was fine, and I had a small island ahead ripe for animal plundering. That sounded bad, I'm glad no one else will ever read this. I should see if Harry the Gold Horder would let me pry one of those locks off a chest for the diary.
(Also, I should ask that skull lady on a date, she keeps asking to come with me on missions (shrug). I guess she's bored enough to risk getting killed or eaten.) Maybe being a pirate isn't so hard I guess, har har har.
I pulled up to the island, raising my sails to slowing down, and carefully parked with my ladder against the underwater bank, as close as possible. It takes more time to park that close without hitting, but you get to load easier.
There was a boss on the shore. Some fighting and island combing later, I had no animals, but two skulls and two chests, one a captain's chest. As I head down to load the shiny gold chest of so much value, I see the sun going down, it's going dark, and then I see the red galleon, pulling around the side of island from behind the rocks.
(Sigh) Being a pirate is hard.
But I had tricks, I pulled my sails up, and then my anchor before disembarking, and sails drop fast. I just had to make it to the ship before them, and think, "maybe they don't see me" right as all four cannons fire, not at my ship, but at me.
Being a pirate is really hard sometimes.
Seas being kind, they were terrible shots, and all missed. I made it, dropped the chest at the ladder, and hit the sails. They focused too much on shooting at me and run directly into the shore in the dark, and quite easily, I'm away.
I hit my lights I never bothered to turn off, and then ran downstairs to check my map. Less eventful, island two nets my animals, two more chests, and two barrels of TNT. Even more fortunate, I filled a banana crate I found.
By morning, I'm on open ocean, with a boat full of goodies. Not a ship in sight, clear skies, and the assigned merchant port rising in front of me, when I heard the roar. The shark from the other night, was circling my ship, three cannon shots from port. He hit the side, and ran down to repair and bail. He hit the other side right after, but I gotta nudge my course, so I ran up and grabbed the wheel, when I see the shark coming right at me, jaws open. I also see the sloop coming around the far side of the island to port as well. Two players shining spyglasses at me.
I turn away hard, but it was no use, he hits the front of the boat and surges all the way to the wheel killing me, and leaving my boat headed to shore, sinking, with players landing there in moments.
BEING A PIRATE IS REALLY HARD SOMETIMES!
(I wait on the barge of the dead holding my tankard of grog, staring at it, wishing.)
I returned to a sinking ship, it was too late, and the animals had drown, and I can hear the players talking about running the chests up to sale, but they have taken the cheapest ones, and I have rifle. I can't stop the furthest one in time, but I hit the closer one twice in a row finishing him, and headed after the other as he ran back. I hit him once, as he pulls a blunderbuss, but I swap to sword, charge, jump, and finish him, taking minimal damage from his shot.
I ran to their ship, hit the anchor, then the sail, grabbed the wheel and scraped the side hard enough to take on water, and charge jumped off the back canopy towards my loot as we passed it in the water where my ship had vanished by now. The quest was a bust, but I had some skulls and chests, and got them sold before anymore trouble.
Almost three thousand coins, not a bad couple days of pirating. At least the kraken didn't swallow me.
